This was six years ago... and my big kids were so small... just babies! 🌸 I remember this beautiful day and how my anxiety was so high that I could barely get out of the car... I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and wrought with sadness... but I loved my kids and husband and clung to my faith in God.
I honestly lived in a fog for at least six months... panic attacks, lots of crying and days and days of trying to numb the immensely deep pain I was feeling in my heart by sleeping or watching tv. It wasn’t good and now looking back I’m so grateful to my husband for loving me like he did! The poor guy had no idea what happened... one day we were on holiday and the next his wife just woke up filled with depression and anxiety.
There was a reason behind it all, memories to be faced and healing that had to occur. My story is darker than most and nothing compared to many... regardless, we all have demons at some point we have to face.
What felt like too long, I didn’t know how to cope. Looking back now, it all happened when I was finally strong enough to deal with issues that had been lying under the surface for decades. I didn’t feel strong at the time... but there was strength. Thankfully!
We got the help I needed. And I truly learned of the immense power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.
The sadness I still feel today when I think of that time and the life I was missing out on... and the joy I feel now for the life I live and the WORK I’ve done to get to this point... they both have a place and a value.
It is still a process... I don’t struggle with depression or anxiety now, but the child in me still has healing to do.
If you can relate in anyway, I urge you to talk to someone if you haven’t already. Therapy was hard, but so worth it!! And pray!! Even if you never have before... God knows you and loves you and is waiting for you!